Jim's Take
Category: Ramblings
28 Ounces. Zero Calories (If ……) and Infinite Confusion I consider myself a smart man. By “smart” I mean I know how to read a tape measure.I know how to do basic arithmetic.I can convert fractions into decimals.And I can figure out basic logic. But sometimes, despite thinking I’m a smart man, there are times … Continue reading 28 Ounces. Zero Calories (If ……)
And they are doing it wrong. WRONG – WRONG – WRONG!!! Disclaimer – I pride myself on rarely using curse words. Even in my very (VERY) vulgar poems that I have written for friends and family, I don’t actually curse. I may reference a curse word, and you know exactly what word is coming in … Continue reading It’s All In The Name – redone
Went to bed last night later than usual. 9:47 p.m. I know... right? As I grabbed the remote to turn off the TV, I caught a commercial for a perfume. Or was it cologne? Perfume. Cologne. Potato. Potato. This commercial... seriously? It featured a guy in his mid-20s with the body of a Greek god … Continue reading Things That Keep Me Awake – Part 7
Letters. Letters. Letters. No consistency. NONE. Just random letters running around acting all willy-nilly. No rules. No regulations. IT'S TOTAL CHAOS. Let me explain. You know when you're at a football game and the cheerleader yells, "Give me a ____!" or "Give me an ____!" and everybody yells the letter back? Here's what keeps me … Continue reading Things That Keep Me Awake – Part 6
In This Corner... Sometimes a rivalry goes on for so long that there is only one way to settle it. Somebody's gotta get punched. You know the kind of rivalry I'm talking about. The smiles are fake. The compliments are forced. They pretend the other one doesn't even exist. "Oh...them? We don't pay any attention … Continue reading Things That Keep Me Awake – Part 5
Dozing off the other night, jeez, I had a craving for a salmon sandwich. Now, not your ordinary sandwich, but a salmon sandwich from this place I used to go to. Let me tell you about it. Raw salmon, romain lettuce, capers and a type of mustard sauce (I don’t remember what type of mustard … Continue reading Things That Keep Me Awake at Night – Part 4
In my blog, I did a whole series about my life as a girl-dad. Perhaps you read one of them. Hopefully you read all 8 of them. Yes – eight. If you did – then thank you. There are no prizes, but huge respect. But lately I’ve just been having thoughts that keep me up … Continue reading Things That Keep Me Awake – Part 3: Hamsters
Remember Mr. Whipple? The poor guy spent decades begging us... "Please don't squeeze the Charmin." But here's what keeps me awake. What if one day he walked into the paper products aisle, wasn't paying attention, and accidentally squeezed Brawny paper towels instead? You know... The ones with the giant lumberjack on the package. I have … Continue reading Things That Keep Me Awake – Part 2
You know how sometimes you start thinking about something and then BAM — you can’t sleep? Could be anything. Money. Work. Relationships. Regret. Whether you remembered to close the garage door. We’ve all been there. Last night it happened to me. Now maybe my thoughts are different than yours. Maybe. Or is it possible that … Continue reading Things That Keep Me Awake
Spring has turned into summer. We got traffic. We got mosquitoes. We got traffic. Yeah, I said it twice. Because OH MY GOD have we got traffic. But there is one more thing that arrives this time of year. Yard sales. Garage sales. There are signs attached to telephone poles all across neighborhoods. SATURDAY - … Continue reading That Time of Year
My Take on Life and Events 