Remember Mr. Whipple? The poor guy spent decades begging us... "Please don't squeeze the Charmin." But here's what keeps me awake. What if one day he walked into the paper products aisle, wasn't paying attention, and accidentally squeezed Brawny paper towels instead? You know... The ones with the giant lumberjack on the package. I have … Continue reading Things That Keep Me Awake at Night… Part 2
Category: Ramblings
Things That Keep Me Awake
You know how sometimes you start thinking about something and then BAM — you can’t sleep? Could be anything. Money. Work. Relationships. Regret. Whether you remembered to close the garage door. We’ve all been there. Last night it happened to me. Now maybe my thoughts are different than yours. Maybe. Or is it possible that … Continue reading Things That Keep Me Awake
That Time of Year
Spring has turned into summer. We got traffic. We got mosquitoes. We got traffic. Yeah, I said it twice. Because OH MY GOD have we got traffic. But there is one more thing that arrives this time of year. Yard sales. Garage sales. There are signs attached to telephone poles all across neighborhoods. SATURDAY - … Continue reading That Time of Year
Exposing Truths
Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy and the Holy Grail of Parental Lies – Santa Claus. I know, I know …. We tell our kids things that aren’t true. But it’s out of love … The Tooth Fairy, well, that’s just so children don’t get all weirded out when they lose a tooth. After a failed … Continue reading Exposing Truths
As a Girl Dad – Part 8
You know how people say you always want your kids to have it better than you did? Ok – accurate. And I get it. I do. But jeez... And Holy Cow... Girls are expensive. Not like million-dollar expenses on a day-to-day basis. But still... Now, I’m a Girl-Dad and ONLY a Girl-Dad, so I don’t … Continue reading As a Girl Dad – Part 8
The Battles We Never Knew
Remember back in the day when frozen fish sticks were simply frozen fish sticks. I remember them at school lunch. I never had a problem with them. If memory serves, I think I kind of liked them. And honestly, I kind of like them today. And I’m a grown ass man and everything. But that … Continue reading The Battles We Never Knew
What’s The Word?
I’m trying to think of a word that might possibly describe either me or my mood today. The only one that fits is crotchety. I’m just damn crotchety today. I was having a perfectly decent day.Got a few things done.Made a few calls.Landed a decent job. Then I had to interact with another human being. … Continue reading What’s The Word?
Forget Me Not
There are two types of people in this world: 1. People who forget things. 2. People who think they don’t forget things… but just forgot that they do. I, for one, like to stay humble… so I forget things constantly just to keep myself grounded. When I was young you couldn’t tell me anything. See, … Continue reading Forget Me Not
Sneezy
There are some things about me you might not know.And then there are things you absolutely know… whether you wanted to or not. 1 example I am a loud sneezer. Not “oh, excuse me” loud.Not “polite tissue dab” loud. I’m talking:sonic boom meets gunshot meets small controlled explosion. And just when you think it’s over……it’s … Continue reading Sneezy
Talking in Your Sleep
Recently we made the bold, financially responsible, wildly unexciting decision to switch from Amazon Music to Spotify. Why? Because I operate on a highly sophisticated household budgeting system known as:“Whichever one is cheaper right now wins.” Turns out Spotify is cheaper.WHO KNEW? My wife knew.Which is why we switched. So now I’ve been riding shotgun … Continue reading Talking in Your Sleep
My Take on Life and Events 