You know how sometimes you start thinking about something and then BAM — you can’t sleep?

Could be anything.

Money. Work. Relationships. Regret. Whether you remembered to close the garage door.

We’ve all been there.

Last night it happened to me.

Now maybe my thoughts are different than yours.

Maybe.

Or is it possible that somewhere out there, another poor soul was staring at the ceiling at 2 AM thinking about this exact same thing.

So, so doubtful.

Because I’ve had a question stuck in my head and I can’t shake it.

Last night I took it to a whole new level.

I actually started considering whether I should conduct an experiment.

Like real scientific research.

Now, I have absolutely zero formal education in scientific research.

But still… possible.

Here’s the situation:

Suppose there’s a really big guy in a swimming pool.
I’m talking maybe 6’5”, 300 pounds.
Picture an NFL lineman.

He’s standing in the deep(ish) end with the water around mid-chest level.

At the other end of the pool is a little guy.
Maybe 5’1”, 150 pounds.
Picture a jockey.

He’s in the shallower end, but because he’s shorter, the water is up to his neck.
Shoulders underwater. Almost completely submerged except for his head.

So now I’m laying there trying to determine who is actually more wet.

Because instinct says the little guy.
I mean, the poor bastard is basically marinating, perhaps drowning.

But then my brain goes:
“Yeah… but the big guy has a LOT more surface area.”

So now we’ve got two completely different measurements of wetness happening.

Do you judge wetness by percentage of body submerged?

Or by total square inches of human being currently soaked?

Because if it’s percentage, little guy wins easily.

But if it’s overall wet coverage, Big Foot in the deep end may be absolutely dominating this competition.

I can not figure out – who is more wet?

And this is the point where I realized sleep was no longer an option.

Meanwhile there are scientists somewhere curing diseases while I’m in bed trying to mathematically determine which stranger in a swimming pool is more wet.

If you can’t sleep tonight either – You’re Welcome.

• Ramblings