There are two types of people in this world:
1. People who forget things.
2. People who think they don’t forget things… but just forgot that they do.
I, for one, like to stay humble… so I forget things constantly just to keep myself grounded.
When I was young you couldn’t tell me anything.
See, when I was young I knew everything.
EVERYTHING.
Problem is – I’ve since forgotten everything I knew.
EVERYTHING.
Well, not everything, I still know a few things.
But I will admit, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve begun to forget things.
Little things.
Every day things.
Here’s a short list:
I hate when I forget to switch the laundry…
Because nothing says “I’ve got my life together” like opening the washer to that lovely wet towel smell and realizing I now get to wash the same clothes again… for sport.
I hate when I forget why I walked into a room…
I walk in with purpose. Confidence. Direction.
And then suddenly I’m just standing there like a Roomba that hit a wall.
I hate when I forget to take the trash out…
Especially when I hear the garbage truck halfway down the street.
Nothing gets a grown adult moving faster… except maybe free food.
I hate when I forget to charge my phone…
You ever try to live life on 3% battery? That’s not a phone—that’s a countdown to anxiety.
I hate when I forget what I went to the store for…
I’ll remember 18 things I didn’t need…
But the ONE thing?
Oh, that comes to me like a divine revelation… while pulling back into my driveway.
I hate when I forget where I parked…
There’s nothing quite like confidently hitting the key fob…
And then following the faint “beep beep” like you’re tracking wildlife in a National Geographic special.
I hate when I forget someone’s name 3 seconds after they tell me…
“Nice to meet you, Jim.”
You too, buddy… chief… my guy… sir… you.
I hate when I forget to respond to a text…
I read it. I think about my response. I even compose it in my head.
And then I just… never send it.
Three days later I’m like, “Well, now it’s weird.”
I hate when I forget if I already took my medication…
Because now I’m standing there doing risk assessment like I’m defusing a bomb.
“Is today the day I double up… or skip and slowly fade away?”
I hate when I forget what day it is…
At some point during the week, every week, I become completely untethered from time.
Tuesday? Thursday? 1997? Who’s to say?
I hate when I forget to defrost something for dinner…
Nothing brings a family together like staring at a frozen brick of meat at 5:30 PM and calling an audible.
I hate when I forget to lock the door…
Because nothing pairs better with laying in bed than that sudden thought:
“Did I lock it?”
And now you’re up. Again.
And my personal favorite…
I hate when I forget where I put my phone…
While I’m holding it.
Or better yet… using the flashlight on my phone… to look for my phone.
At this point, I don’t even get mad anymore.
I just accept that my brain is basically running 37 tabs…
And at least 12 of them are frozen.
My Take on Life and Events 