I need to confess something…

I made chicken and dumplings for the first time in my life…
on Cinco de Mayo.

5/5/2026

Yeah… I know.

Judge me if you want—that’s not even the bad part.

Not even close

I didn’t cook the chicken.

I used a store-bought rotisserie chicken…

Yup.

And since we’re already here…

I didn’t make the dumplings either.

Annie’s. Frozen section. Food Lion.

Keep judging me all you want.

Go ahead—get it out of your system.

But I’ll tell you what…

smack me on the ass and call me Julia Child—

it was GOOD.

No… it was GREAT.

I even used canned cream of chicken soup…
packaged broth…

BUT—
I chopped my own onion…
and I minced fresh parsley.

I have standards.

I draw the line at dried parsley.

So go on.

Judge me all you want…

just don’t tell my grandmother.”

• That Guy