There is a struggle.
There is a strategy.
There is a desired outcome.

It’s different for everyone—but make no mistake…

It’s there.

We act nonchalant.
We pretend it’s no big deal.
We look straight ahead like emotionally stable adults.

HA !!!

But it’s there.
The elephant in the room.

Completely unspoken.

We’ve all been there—wedged next to a complete stranger in a tight, unforgiving seat.
Airplane. Movie theater. Waiting room chair that was clearly designed for someone smaller and less human.

And then it begins.

The silent…
awkward…
completely unspoken battle for the armrest.

There are no rules.
No guidelines.
No referee.

There is no right and no wrong.

You think of that elementary school yard scheme – “Finders keepers”

But that won’t decide this.

This is much more of a battle.

It’s comfort of the fittest.

Is it first come, first serve?
Do you lose your rights if you get up?
Is there a grace period? A “holding your spot” clause?

What about that tiny 1–3 second window when they shift?

Is that an opening…
or a trap?

Do you start small—just the tip of the elbow—
and slowly advance…
quarter inch by quarter inch…
like some kind of polite territorial invasion?

And then… the nightmare scenario.

The worst of the worst.

Middle seat.

Three people.
Two armrests.

You sit down—and both are already occupied.

CURSES !!!

Now what?

Your arms are trapped in that invisible box in front of you like you’re being politely detained.

Do you cross your arms and sulk for two hours?
Do you accept your fate like a defeated warrior?

No.

This is where strategy comes in.

You have to think ahead.
You have to be ready.

Because this is a long game.

You wait.

You observe.

Window seat leans to look outside?
Opportunity.

Aisle seat reaches to discard his empty water bottle in the trash bag coming down the aisle carried by the flight attendant?
Opening.

You move in—just enough.
Establish presence.
Hold the line.

HOLD THE LINE !!!

And suddenly…

You’re in the game.

Left and right think it’s still first come, first serve.

But they don’t realize something.

They’re not just sitting next to you.

They’re competing with you.

And the best part?

They don’t even know it.

They’re not just sitting next to you.
They’re competing with you.

And they don’t even know it.

Because at the end of the day…
it was never about the armrest.

It was about respect.

And somewhere around minute 47…

It became about winning.

Next thing they know – they are without armrest and you are now the master of your domain.

It was an epic battle.

You took it inch by inch.

And to the victor goes the spoils.

Spread your wings – you’ve earned it.

• That Guy