I can’t figure out women.

Like every man on the planet – I’ve tried to figure women out.

Can’t do it.

You could write a book about the things about women that I don’t know.

Of course, the writer would have to be a woman, because (reality check) no other guy really knows enough about women to write a book.

Now, one might argue a gay man might know more about women.  To this, I say an emphatic, “no”.  See, in my way of thinking, and the blog is called, “BecauseJimSays” for a reason, a gay guy spends most of his time with other guys and focuses his attention on knowing more about guys than women, so a gay guy might actually know less about women.

But that’s maybe for another post at a different time.

While driving down the road one day, I was flipping through radio channels and on the 70s channel, I heard a song and it made me think.

Remember how in another post I heard one song and it made me think of another song and I tied the two songs together?

Sure you do.

If not, go look back through my posts.

Ok – back to this post.

I’m listening to his guy sing and I’m just driving, so I have a chance to listen to the lyrics.

It’s a happy peppy song about this guy who likes this girl, but he can’t figure if this girl likes him or not.

Every guy has been there.

So this guy comes up with a plan for this girl so she can let him know how she feels.

But it’s in code.

I have a few theories:

• Perhaps he’s shy and in not knowing how she feels is unsure of what her reaction might be and doesn’t want to make the situation awkward.
• Perhaps he’s in a relationship with another woman and this “code” will be between the two of them and his relationship woman might be none the wiser.
• Perhaps he’s a serial killer and this way he leaves no real evidence of their meeting.
• Perhaps he’s in a wheel chair and unable to leave his apartment and this is a method he’s tried before with previous tenants of the occupants of the apartment below.

Who knows.

We may never know.

But as I’m listening to this song and trying to figure it out – something hit me like a lightning bolt

WAIT A MINUTE !!!!  This same guy sang another song about also not knowing how a girl felt about him and devised another sign, or code as it were, for her to do so that she can make her feelings known.

And my immediate thought was, “What the hey”?

This guy expects these women to play his games and follow his directions to make their feelings knows.

Who does this guy think he is?

Why does he expect women to follow his codes?

Why not just ask them out?

Why not just say, “Hey – what’s up?”

Why does he have to make some elaborate code for the women to follow?

And wait – what if it’s the same woman?

In one song, we the listener, find out that his signal was followed, the woman did the asked for task and perhaps they lived happily ever after.

Now, this song with the supposed happy ending was released in 1973.

The first song, where there’s no indication on whether the task was followed, was released in 1970.

Still don’t know the two songs yet?

Before I say the songs, here’s my analogy.

In song one, he devised this code which she did not do. 

THEN – his relationship woman found out the code and they got in this big argument about him wanting to cheat on her with the lady downstairs.

As a result of this argument, this guy left and got a little drunk and disorderly, got arrested and went to jail.

While in jail he promised the first woman that he’s a changed man and is now worthy of her love.

Now out of jail, he’s still not quite sure how his lady feels and if she’ll have him back.

Turns out she does want him back and to illustrate her love for him, she performed the task required.

SONG REVEAL :

The guy is Tony Orlando.

In the first song, “Knock Three Times”, the lady in the apartment underneath him was instructed to knock three times on the ceiling if she wants him, but if she were to clang twice on the pipe, then the answer was no.

Now, as I figure, he and his relationship woman got in a fight over this transgression and he went away for a while.

So now a few years later he asks this woman to “Tie a Yellow Ribbon” around the old oak tree as an indication that she still wants him.

Tony, dude, stop playing games.

Enough with the codes and signals.

Just ask the woman.

And that’s from me.

Me, a guy that knows NOTHING about women.

• Seriously
• That Guy