I was stubborn.  I fought it.  But in the end, I decided I must embrace modern technology.  I did so begrudgingly – it was not by choice, it was by necessity.

Years ago, Google was still early in it’s world dominance, and smart phones were inching into our lives.  But me, I still used the phone book.  Yes.  A phone book.

               *sidenote – seriously, how many people under the age of 30 even know what a phone book is?

To continue…. I still used a phone book when I needed to find a phone number or an address of say, a restaurant.  Much to the deep frustrated sighs of my wife Lisa, “Just Google it”, she’d calmly tell me (and when I say “calmly tell me”, I mean yell at me).  But no.  I enjoyed the yellow pages of the phone book.  After 3 or 4 (okay 20) of these such occurrences, Lisa decided to teach me a lesson.  “Ok – you use the phone book and I’ll use my phone and we’ll see who gets the number first”.  SO we did, and I won.  Yes, I got the number first, thus proving my point.  But we did this maybe 10 more times, and I lost every time and it wasn’t even close.  It seems the first time was just a fluke.  I somehow turned to the correct page in just a few turns of the page. 

Okay – point made and point received.  Modern technology is faster, and there are no longer any phone books in our house.  It was the first of many surrenders to modern technology.

But something happened recently.  In fact, something happened this morning and my embrace of technology is now complete.  My last refuge of being “old-school” is gone.

But I’ll circle back to that…..

My daughters are 18 and 13.  Perhaps you’ve read in other posts of our adventures.  WHAT – you have not?  Okay – finish this post, then go read more.  Kate and Charlotte are children of the 21st century.  Kate got her 1^st phone when she was 11 (I think).  We got it for her just before a trip to Disney, as we wanted to make sure we had a way to contact her, should we get separated.  Me, this is no joke – I think I got my first phone when I was 42.  Yes – I got my first cell phone when I was 42.  See, I worked in a brick and mortar location, and I had a home phone, so it was easy to contact me.  But times change and BigJimmy crept into the 21^st century.  Texting made life so much easier, except when it didn’t.  See, I’d send a text, something kind of important where I needed a quick response.  Only to get frustrated when the quickly needed response didn’t come in.  Only to get even more frustrated because my quickly needed response didn’t come in because I’d forget to hit “send” on the most important text.

Where was I?  Oh yes, Kate and Charlotte.  They are Gen Z and they’ve grown up with technology.  They know their phones, they know all the apps, they have the ear pods and they stream and they chat and snap and insta and all those things.  I still get really frustrated when I’m in the same room with them: “Kate”… nothing… “Kate”…. nothing… “KATE!!!”, only to have her take an earpod out and say, annoyingly, “What?” She annoyed that I had to shout and me annoyed that I had to shout. 

I just don’t understand the earpod thing.  Yes, I appreciate music as much as the next guy, but I don’t need music 24/7.  And to have to shout to be heard when someone is in the same room

               *sidenote – I get very frustrated when I see people out running using earpods.  It’s not safe.  I was a runner for much of my life.  I ran for about 15 years, many years at a highly competitive level, so I know a thing or two about it.  You need to know what’s going on around you.  You need to be able to hear traffic, or a bike, or another runner, or perhaps, a person who needs to yell to alert you of something.  Me, I was concentrating on the run and the pace and my breathing and my form.

Okay – back to earpods…. I don’t understand the earpod things.  BUT – I’ve been doing a lot of work outside the house the last few years.  I do a bit of residential construction and in those situations, a pair of earpods might come in handy.  So – yup, bought me a pair.  Learned how to charge them, how to connect them to Bluetooth and how to even talk on the phone through them.  But I only use them on work sites and most of the time I take my portable wireless speaker, again, embracing technology.  Me, I consider this a big giant step.  I embraced technology and I was quite please with myself.  But nope.  Kate and Charlotte, but not so much Lisa, just rolled their eyes and said, “Okay Moses”.  See, they call me Moses because I fought technology and clung to my old school ways.  “Okay Moses”.  I’ve heard that many times.

The phone is something I still haven’t mastered.  And I’m not sure I ever will.  My daughters roll their eyes and make fun of me every time I ask one of them to help me do the most simple of tasks.  It usually has something to do with a photo.  I might need to rotate it (I can do that now) or edit it to change sizes or maybe even write/type something on it.  “Ok Moses – I’ll help you”.  Again with the Moses.  I get it.  I’m an old man and I struggle with these new-fangled thingamagigs.

It’s not that I don’t like technology.  And it’s not that I don’t trust technology.  And it’s not that I don’t appreciate technology and how it makes life easier (sometimes) and how it makes life a bit more organized.  I get that.  I do.  But I still like things old school.

I have a playlist on my phone.  But I prefer, sometimes, to listen to my 80s and 90s music on my vinyl on my turn table. 

And the phone.  I still struggle with the features on my phone.  And downloading the app’s.  I’m okay with the downloading of apps.  UNLESS it needs my google password and then it’s hit or miss.  See passwords are the absolute bane of my existence.  I HATE PASSWORDS. 

For a long time I didn’t want to use the self-checkout at Walmart.  One of my biggest pet peeves is when I go into a store and things aren’t priced.  And in the beginning of my experiences at the self-checkout, there was always a problem, something either didn’t scan or scanned with the wrong price.  But at it’s very essence, I enjoy the customer service I get from the checkout people.  See, as annoying as I can be (I can here your *gasp* from here), I’m a people person.

When the checkout person asks me the  required, “How are you?”, I always respond in one of three ways:

1. “I’m fantastic”.  I like to be upbeat and happy.  Let’s face it – they must deal 100 unpleasant people in their shift – I don’t want to add to it.
2. “I’m enjoying the day today”.  Once again, I like the interaction and don’t want to respond in the mundane, “I’m good”.  No.  I want to be happy.
3.  I’ll quickly stop and take a look around, “Why, what have you heard?”.  That always gets ‘em.

I didn’t use the self-checkout for the longest time.  I preferred the full service and customer interaction.

But if I shopped with my wife – then I was forced to use the self-checkout.  Like sands through an hourglass….. slowly I was won over.  And now, I use the self checkout.  I use it at Walmart, I use it at Lowes and I use it at Home Depot.  But not at my local grocery store, the Milton Delaware Food Lion.  My last remaining sanctuary to customer service.

My wife will tell you that she doesn’t get me.  Or is it she doesn’t get a lot of things I do?   I’ll volunteer to go the grocery store, any time of day or night.  Often several times in a day.  I think my personal record for number of times going to the grocery store in one day is five.  It used to be because I never knew what I wanted.  Liking fresh produce, I never knew what looked good until I got there, so I went daily.  Plus, on a Saturday, I didn’t know what I wanted to have for dinner on a Tuesday; I’d rather go to the store on Tuesday and see what looked good.  And I’d do the same on Wednesday.  And I’d do the same thing on Thursday.

If you’ve read this far, thank you.  I appreciate you.  Remember earlier when I said I’d be circling back to something.  Well, here it is.

I’ve been working out of town for the better part of 2 weeks, and I haven’t been able to go to The Lion (as I affectionately refer to The Milton Food Lion).  But this morning, Sunday, I woke up late, maybe 6:40, and told Lisa, I was gonna feed the cat, get a cup of coffee and then go to the store and get scrapple.  I made sure I had sausage for Lisa as she doesn’t like scrapple.  I KNOW – RIGHT?!?!?!

Cat fed, coffee consumed and off I go.  I’m a deliberate shopper this morning.  I don’t feel like perusing aimlessly through the store.  I’ll do that if I go back later, which I’m happy to do.  Seeing that we had sausage for Lisa, I just get scrapple, as well as a few bottles of sparkling water and a box of crackers.  I’ll be working out of the house on Monday, so I decided (in advance) to get a box of crackers that I can snack on while I work.  And as I round the counter.  There it is.  Right in front of me.  Right there.  In My Food Lion.

Four self-checkouts.  Four.  In my Food Lion.  Self-checkouts.

I stand there for a second or two.  There is a line of two people at the staffed checkout aisle.  So what do I do?  Do I revolt?  Do I grab my phone and get on The Book (that’s Facebook for you people that don’t speak the Techno-Lingo) and organize a protest?  Do I concoct in my head my strongly worded letter to the Food Lion executives voicing my anger?

Not this time.  As one of my favorite band’s wrote, and as the world’s best drummer EVER co-wrote, “Changes aren’t permanent, but change is” – I just accepted it.  Took my basket to the first spot and scanned my haul, entered my phone number, pulled out my debit card, rang myself up, bagged up my groceries and went home to make myself and my wife a breakfast of French toast, sausage and scrapple.

Did I give up?  Nope.  Hardly.  I still like it old school.  I might be Moses, but I am definitely NOT Moses.

• Ramblings