I do a bit of work here and there.  I travel for work and I take on projects that might last for weeks, even months.

Luckily, the last 3 long term projects I’ve worked on have been near a WaWa: Bridgeville and Long Neck in Delaware and presently the WaWa in Cambridge, Maryland.

When there is no Buc-ee’s anywhere close, then WaWa is a good alternative.

But make no mistake – BUC-EE’S RULES – perhaps by now you’ve read so on www.becausejimsays

I’ve always been fine with the WaWa in Bridgeville and in Long Neck.  The coffee service in both are excellent, the carafes are always either full or being filled, and the staff there is attentive.  Never a problem.  The areas are clean and while busy, everyone is polite and it’s always a pleasure to frequent.

In fact, as I have written, we should all live our lives, all day, every day, like we do when we both enter and exit a WaWa.  We always hold the door for one another.   We don’t ask for your political party or your sexual orientation, we just hold the door for one another.  And always, a “Thank You” or perhaps another pleasantry is offered.

But the WaWa in Cambridge, Maryland…. Phew … I call that the Wild Wild WaWa West.

First, there’s the outside.  I’ve been working in Cambridge the better part of a month and I probably go to this WaWa 2 times a day, sometimes 3.  So I’ll round it off and say I’ve been there maybe 50 times.  In those 50 times, there have been but a couple of times when someone hasn’t hit me up for money. 

Usually it’s a pleasant greeting: example of earlier this week, “Hello sir, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year”.  I knew what was coming next, “Yes, Happy New Year to you too”.  “Do you have $4 I could borrow to get on the bus to get to work?”, “Sorry, I don’t have any cash”.

But occasionally they get very creative.  Two weeks ago, I parked around the corner and as I drove past the front door I noticed a guy talking to another person and I saw the other person shake his head and walk into the store. So I knew what was coming. I got out of my truck and as I turned the corner, he reached into his pocket and picked up his phone and quite excitedly took a call.  “Hello”, slight pause, “OH NO – IS HE OKAY?” slight pause, “Tell him I’ll be right there”.  As I approached, “Excuse me sir, my son was just in a car accident, are you going towards WalMart when you leave here?”.  I wasn’t, I’m working kind of across the street, “No, I’m not going that way”.  “Ok, do you have $5 so I can catch the bus?”.  “No, sorry, I don’t have any cash on me”.  And I just walked away.

Usually it’s just, “Excuse me sir, do you have a few dollars?”

But jeez, it’s always something.  It’s ridiculous.

But it’s odd that both guys that had asked for bus money, were just standing there by the trash can, calmly smoking a cigarette when I exited.   And here I thought they were trying to get somewhere.  The poor son that was just in a car accident …..

The other day though, this one took the cake.  I needed to get some diesel for my heater that we use.  As I got there, I only had a $5 bill in my pocket and I had forgotten my wallet.  The heater wasn’t empty and it was just over $3 a gallon and it was kind of late in the day so I just needed enough diesel to finish the day, so I walked in and got $3 cash on pump 11 (I think).

You know how when you pay with cash, when it gets to the end, it goes slow?  As I approached $3, it didn’t slow down.  I stopped it at $3.05 and took out the nozzle and looked and it had some room, so I figured I’d go to $5 and then take in the $2 I still had.  As I got close to $5, it slowed and then stopped at $5.  I figure the cashier must have hit $5 instead of $3.  I replaced the nozzle, screwed the cap on the tank of the heater and closed the bed of the truck.  As I turned to go inside, a guy was approaching me across the parking lot, “Excuse me sir.’

“Yes, it went to $5, I was just going in to pay the $2”

“Oh, that was me, I put a $10 on it, I saw you only got $3 and I thought maybe you were struggling”

Ok …. I knew something was up ….

“I wasn’t sure how much this would take and I’m not even sure how big the tank is”, I said, very puzzled.

The guy pulls out his phone, “that’s the miracle of technology, you can take a picture of the machine and then find out all about it”.  So he fumbled with his phone and took a pic of my heater to show me all the information about it.

I could not have cared less.

So I calmly said, “Well, I appreciate that but you didn’t have to do that, but it stopped at $5.”  Did you read the part where he says he put a $10 on it?

“Oh, it was no problem” ….. then he said, and I knew it was coming ….. “Since I did you a favor, can you spot me a $20?”

Um ……. Well, he said he put a $10 on it, but it stopped at $5.  And so he got me $2 of diesel and now wants me to spot him a $20 because he did me a favor?

And he also said he thought I might be struggling.  If I were struggling, why would I have a $20 to give him instead of putting more than $3 in my heater?

I checked to be sure the heater was secure, “Well, you didn’t have to do that, but I appreciate it, have a Merry Christmas”. And I got in my truck and drove off.

Sure, I could have given him the $2 I had in my pocket.  But I ask …. Why?  I didn’t ask him to out in $2 and then he hits me up for a $20?

But it’s funny that in trying to scam me, the guy lost $2.

My boy really needs to work on his game.

Now that we’ve covered the outside of the store, let’s venture inside.

The Coffee service part of the store is, well, lacking.

There’s one older lady that works the coffee area and she is either very overwhelmed, very unorganized, or possibly …….  just doesn’t care.

One day while she was filling the sugars and creamers, there were 2 of 10 coffees that had coffee.  Decaf and Hazelnut.

I’m a pass on both.  So I just stood there, patiently waiting (with a few other guys) until coffee carafes were changed out.

A lady came to get coffee and you’d think she’d notice several of us standing there with cups in our hands – WAITING.

As she seemed surprised to find her coffee of choice carafe empty, I said to her, kind of loudly so the worker could hear, “They’re all empty.”

It appears I struck a nerve, the worker lady turned around and snapped at me, “They are not all empty, they are just not switched over yet!”

Um ….. so they are, um….. EMPTY.

As often as I am there, I don’t see her very much, my guess is she’s only there part time.

But on Thursday early afternoon, Jan 2, of the 9 or 10 carafes, only 3 had coffee: Cuban Roast, Hazelnut and, of course, DeCaf.

I have no idea what she was doing, she was back there working on something – but not coffee.

I got the Cuban roast – not my first choice.  It just wasn’t worth asking and it also wasn’t worth the wait.

But then on Friday, Jan 3, something crazy happened.  No one saw it.  Well, no one but myself.  I went there with my worker and when I left I asked him if he saw what I saw.

So it was Friday mid afternoon and I needed to withdraw money from the ATM. My worker and I went there and the line for the 2 ATMs was deep, maybe 9-10 people. 

No big deal, those lines move pretty quickly.  And being I don’t know much about Cambridge, MD except my usual places, I didn’t know where another good no-fee ATM machine would be.

I got in line and the line stretched in front of the beverage coolers.

I was behind an older woman who was using one of those walkers, that also had a seat you could sit in.  And on the seat, she had a very large bag, larger than a purse and pretty big size. 

I usually leave my phone in the truck – LOCKED of course, this WaWa is something else.

If I had my phone, I would have taken a few pictures or a video.

DANG IT !!!

I saw the lady in front of me open the cooler door and grab 2 big bottles of Smart Water, then she put them into her bag, which was open.

Odd.

I was kind of taken back a bit and I looked around and I saw security cameras throughout the store.  I also counted the coolers between where we were and the ATM machines and I counted 6 doors.

Door 1 had been burglarized, and as the line moved forward, on to door 2.

From door 2 she grabbed 3 energy drinks.  Those too made it into the bag.

OH.  MY.  GOD.

What is going on here?

Well, I knew exactly what was going on, but what do I do?

I regretted not having my phone, this would have been great.  But I didn’t know what to do. 

Do I ask her to not do that?

Do I mention something to a worker?

I had to remind myself that I am not a paid employee of WaWa and I am also not an off duty police officer.

I was shell shocked.

I understand that this stuff causes places to raise their prices, but at the moment, I was just in total disbelief.

Line moved forward and on to door #3.

Without missing a bet, as soon as the line stopped moving, she reached in a grabbed 2 Ginger Ale’s.  Canada Dry if you’re playing at home, and these went right into the bag.

She didn’t look around to see if anyone was watching, she just stood there looking straight ahead.

Ok – maybe she is going to pay for them when she got done. 

Surely, that’s what would happen. 

It’s just too much to carry to the register, so the bag acted kind of like a hand cart.

I’m an optimist and I think positively about people.

The line moved forward and now in front of cooler door 4, three soft drinks were removed and put into the bag.  I didn’t notice the brand, because while thoroughly invested in the active crime scene I was smack dab in the middle of, I wanted to pretend I hadn’t seen anything.

I acted like nothing was happening.

I was just a guy waiting for his turn at the ATM.

Line moved and she’s now in front of cooler door #5. 

I wait.

I wait some more.

Nothing.

Nothing taken from cooler door #5. 

Was her bag full?

Were the persons she was providing beverages for not fond of the items in cooler #5?

I was puzzled.

We moved forward and now I am in front of cooler door #5.

I was just about to say, “Ma’am, you missed one”, when I realized the reason.  As the line got closer to the ATM machines, the 2 cooler doors closest to the ATMs were in view of the register corral area.

This was all playing out in my head.

What if she is stopped at the door making her slow-speed get-away, would I be called as a witness?

Or could they possibly think I was an accomplice?

The lines moves again and she now makes her way to the ATM.

I was next in line, but I really wanted to see how this played out.  It had been several minutes and I could hear the SCI music playing in my head.

My heart was beating at 1000 beats a minute. 

But not Bonnie (you know, of Bonnie and Clyde).  Oh no, she was cool as a cucumber.

The guy in ATM machine 1 got his receipt and I stepped up the machine to do my transaction.

There I am, side by side with a hardened criminal.

Jim, play it cool.

Do not make any conversation.

Do not even look over.

Much like a guy using a urinal with no side partition, do your transaction and look only straight ahead.

Being she was there ahead of me, she finished her transaction and put her wallet in her big bag, zipped it shut and headed for the door.

OH. MY. GOD.

She, being a bit slow of foot was just at the door when my cash and receipt finally popped out and I made it around the corner just in time to see some good Samaritan holding the door for this sweet elderly woman using a rolling walker exiting the store. 

I was far too excited to even get a cup of coffee (if there even was any).

I instead went to my truck, where my worker was standing beside it, remember, this is one WaWa where you lock your doors, and I said, “Jerry, do you see the lady with the walker?”.

“Who?  Her?” and points in her direction.

“Yes.  I think she stole every beverage in the whole store!”

He just shook his head and we both said, “Cambridge WaWa”

But lesson learned.

I’m taking my phone with me next time.

• Seriously
• That Guy