Of all the things I’ve written, all the worthless nonsense and all the crazy ideas, I rather like this one.

I wrote it years ago, many years ago, when my daughters, you know them by now, Kate and Charlotte, as you are regular readers of my blog (AREN’T YOU !?!?!?), were still young and in school. 

I love my daughters with all my heart.  However, when you have little kids, and the weather is cold and they are stuck inside and they are home for 2 or more weeks, when Christmas Break is over, IT’S TIME TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL. 

The house needs to get some sanity back and it’s time for order to reign once again.

It was in that spirit that I wrote this to honor all the parents of young children that love their little ones with all their heart but also need them to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas Break Was Over……  (I tried my best to keep the rhyme from each line and tried to keep the original cadence.

T’was the night before Christmas Break was over, and all through our place,

The kids were going full speed, as if in some sort of sugar-induced race.

Their school bags were packed and by the door with the greatest of care,

Mom and dad praying that soon the morning would be here….

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The Children had been rambunctious all Christmas Break, rarely going to bed,

And I’ve had a complete body ache that once was confined to my head

Christmas Break had been long, the house felt like a trap,

But on January 2^nd  we’d most certainly be deserving a nap.

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Then from one of the bedrooms there arose such a clatter,

“Goodness-Sakes-Alive” what on Earth could be the matter?

To the bottom of the staircase I flew like a flash,

Stepping on small missing toy parts I’d soon throw in the trash.

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The moon hidden by dark clouds that threatened snow,

“They’re going to school tomorrow even if it’s 30 below!!!”;

January 6th is coming, of that I have no fear,

So I got my wife a glass of wine and myself a beer.

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When I was little Christmas Break always went by so quick,

Now I think the calendar is playing some type of trick;

Every long day had become one and the same,

With nary a nap, I’ve only myself to blame.

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“Now Kathryn, now Charlotte, please don’t make a mess in the kitchen,

No pop-corn, no ice cream or whatever else you are mixin’;

Crayons on the staircase and markers in the hall

And what is that stain on their bedroom carpet I saw?

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So very very tired during the week, we wanted to cry,

Please calm down and read a book.  Do you think ONCE they’d comply?

Enough noise and screaming, are there really just the two?

It’s been a long break, thank goodness it’s almost through.

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So noisy in the house, it’s like they’d raise the roof,

The police almost brought the dosemeter, in case you needed proof;

A vacant look in our eyes as we wandered around,

But what joy we’ll have when off to school they are bound.

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I’ll dress them up warmly from their head to their foot,

When they’re in school, I’m not going anywhere, I’m staying put!

So happy will we be to have our nice quiet home back,

I might watch ESPN and have a mid-morning snack.

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Christmas expenses almost broke us, but yes it was merry,

Please no loose teeth, there’s nothing left for the tooth fairy;

We kept our calm never letting frustration show,

I hope for not many days off school due to snow.

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I kept my calm the entire break and gritted my teeth,

Picking up Barbies and Play-Doh and whatever lied beneath;

Forced for two weeks to watch whatever they had on the telly,

And bathing the little one whenever she got smelly.

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But now, Christmas Break almost over, I can laugh at myself,

Tomorrow we’ll take down the tree and pack up that damn elf;

A wink to my wife and a shake of my head

Confirming that January 6th  morning we’d have nothing to dread.

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I’ll speak not a word , enjoying the solitude of work,

Happy the Holidays are over, like UPS and that poor shipping clerk;

We’ll pick up the house and fold all the clothes

And did I mention a nap, oh yeah, I’m gonna doze.

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But leave me alone January 6th , don’t text me, don’t whistle,

And again, all is ask is for NO EARLY DISMISSAL!!!

I’ll see the kids off to school, watching ‘til they are out of sight,

GET OUTTA MY HOUSE – but I’ll see you both tonight!!!

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